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Tag: positive values

Making Life Happen By Enjoying the Small Moments

Posted on March 21, 2018 in Change and Growth

Create a Powerful Life - Realize You Fullest Potential

I want to eat an antipasto salad and a pomegranate and an order a steak fries. I want to watch a bird go about its business and I’d like to discuss physics. I want to roll a hefty stone down a hill and sit on a tree branch about a third of the way up. I want to glance very, very briefly at the sun (so quickly that it doesn’t hurt) and wash the dirty pots and pans. I want to stay up all night and feel good about how suede feels when you rub it against the grain. I want to ride in an old rusty wagon where one slightly out-of-true wheel struggles to keep up and compliment the check-out lady on her efficiency. I want to feel good when I hear a dog scratching on the screen door with both paws; wanting to be let in and I want to learn to appreciate the simplicity of an abacus.

I want to watch a major rocket launch and have my time consumed watching ants go in and out of their anthill. I would like to discover a new method for determining the distance to Jupiter and land on its moon, Europa (at least in my imagination). I want to sleep in late on Sunday and work as a hod carrier. I realize that carrying hod is hard work but so is living, sometimes. I want to read a novel of pulp fiction and value the intricacies of virtual particle theory. I would love to learn to dance Argentine Tango and then master the art of rhetoric. I would like to read Dante’s Inferno and War and Peace but I feel they are too dense for me.

I would like to fall into a field of dandelions and pull a kid around on a large piece of cardboard and pretend I am a horse pulling a wagon in the old west. If the world were flat, I would walk to the edge and look over. I’m not afraid of heights. I don’t gamble but I’m not averse to taking risks. I love how babies look at you and I wonder what they are thinking. I feel good after a late afternoon thunderstorm when everything has an electric feel to it. I want to experience a total solar eclipse where the world looks like an alien planet; black in the middle with stars out, and red at the horizon. I fear that I’m getting old sometimes and I want to immediately remember that I’m actually very young. I want to sit in the library and giggle over some silly comment the librarian made.

I want to tell my neighbor that his dog barks all night long. He must hear it barking.

I would love to see my cat and best friend Rascal again. I want to tell my father how much I miss him. I’d love to go back in time and not say half the things I’ve said. I want to listen actively and speak more precisely. I’d love to see a bright orange Tanager in a green bush.

I want to watch a baseball game and ask the guy next to me which one is the home team. I want to strike up a conversation with a stranger on the street and ask for their opinion. I want to feel the sand between my toes and taste the salty ocean. I want to sit under a big cottonwood tree and watch the sunshine dapple the cool shade. I want to float upon the laughter I hear. I want to tell someone that everything is going to be okay. I want to still my mind and embrace all of my emotions. I want to be free. I want to love and be loved. I want to become a champion.

I know this is a lot, but I believe I can do it.

The Reversal of Negative Core Beliefs

Posted on March 19, 2018 in Negative Beliefs

We are all inculcated early in our lives with beliefs that are foundational in nature, or core, both positive and negative. As core beliefs, these are so embedded into our psychic experience as to be difficult at best, to change. Positive core beliefs lead to a positive values system and pro-social behavior.

These beliefs might include “I am a good person”, “hard work pays for itself in the long run”, “love conquers all,” or “knowledge is power.” These positive core beliefs, when reinforced and reconfirmed through positive behaviors can result in a healthy and productive individual with an optimistic worldview. Negative core beliefs, conversely, may have an opposite effect.

Beliefs including “I am a failure,” “I am stupid,” “everyone is out to get me,” or “I am unlovable” might result in behaviors that reaffirm these core beliefs.

Maladaptive, antisocial behavior and activity may affirm these negative core beliefs as the beliefs themselves create situations, circumstances and events that, along with like-minded individuals conspire to foster an atmosphere conducive to failure; a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. These negative core beliefs can often be easily identified through an examination of one’s surface projection or behavior.

The man who projects an outward aura of a hardened tough guy, puffing out his chest at every opportunity and loudly proclaiming his physical superiority in an effort to intimidate, might be said to be outwardly compensating for a core belief that he is a failed weakling. Often these negative core beliefs are unrecognized by the person possessing them having held them from the age of early childhood.

One’s outward or surface projection may seem automatic and natural to them but to the knowledgeable observer constitutes an obvious compensation for feelings of inadequacy.

These surface projections are defense mechanisms then, simply expressed in an effort to cope with or better yet, to deny the horrible truth these underlying beliefs would reveal if brought out into the light of day.

An effective treatment modality would comprise attempts to confront the surface behaviors “head on” and ask, “What kind of person, what belief system would produce such outward behavioral displays.”

This would be conducted in a group setting using the collective to bring pressure to bear on the issue at hand. Who better to confront one’s own behavior than one’s peers who see much more and know the subject more intimately than any outsider?

By confronting the individual concerning the outwardly displayed behavior and with an adequate amount of pressure, an emotional catharsis may be brought to the fore, after the subject voices staunch denials and rebuttals, whereby the subject may reach a point of surrender and be open to suggestions therapeutic in nature.

At this point the negative core belief would be challenged through a dialectic approach in a caring, calm, encouraging manner. For one whose core beliefs might include “I will always fail”, the question may be asked, “where it is that prove that you will always fail? Have you always failed in the past? Have you known success in your life?

Have you ever succeeded in a goal you set for yourself?” The subject will be left, ultimately, with no other option but to admit to having succeeded even to the smallest degree in life.

This is the beginning of the process for tearing down that deeply embedded negative core belief. This small crack in the foundation of this belief will ultimately lead to its complete usurpation.

By building on this first crack the individual would be asked to record instances, on a daily basis, where success offered the realization, no matter how small and seemingly inconsequential, of the achieved goal or desire.

Further support could be offered in the form of evidentiary fact or anecdotal experience. For example, “failure must be embraced in order that one succeed” or “failure is how one learns to succeed.”

Beliefs are the truths people hold on to and guide their lives by. The power of belief can trap you, as in the belief that you deserve only a limited amount of happiness. Or belief can free you, as in the belief that you are safe and protected in the cosmic plan.

When you open your awareness to your strongest beliefs, which are known as core beliefs, two things happen. First, you find out who you are and why you behave in the ways you do.

Second, new energies become available when you pursue the core beliefs that are life-supporting, fulfilling, and spiritually transforming.

What Are Your Core Beliefs?

What you believe about yourself has both positive and negative effects. If deep down you believe, “I must be successful at all costs,” you will gain strong motivation, which is positive.

But if you believe success involves ruthless, selfish, and hurtful behavior, your motivation is compromised. This is what it means to have your belief control you instead of you controlling your belief. Here are some other common core beliefs that people identify with:

  • I want to be intimate as long as I don’t get hurt.

  • I deserve love as long as it doesn’t make me too vulnerable.

  • I want to be of service as long as it doesn’t cost me too much.

If your beliefs are compromised the way that these are, you have not found the true power of core beliefs yet.

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

A powerful core belief is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of core belief you are activating. Step one is to bring your core beliefs into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:

  • I am loving and lovable.

  • I am worthy.

  • I am safe and trusting.

  • I am fulfilled and whole.

You already have existing core beliefs in these four areas of love, self-worth, security, and fulfillment. Your beliefs can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one like changing your wardrobe.

The change must come at the level of self-awareness. At the core of your being, where your true self resides, the truth about you is clear and unequivocal: You deserve unconditional love; you are of unique worth in the universe; you can trust Nature to protect and uphold you; and your fulfillment comes from being whole.

To overhaul your beliefs means that you get closer and closer to your core beliefs, these four inner truths, which are absolute. Right now, there’s a gap between them and what you experience.

For most people, the positive and negative side of their core beliefs depends on how good or bad their experiences have been in the past. If you have been deeply hurt in love, for example, it is hard to adopt the core belief that you deserve infinite love.

A Self-Awareness Exercise to Create Your Core Beliefs

But experience from the past only keeps you stuck in the past. Your core beliefs are activated in the now, every day. They can only be changed in the now, also. Here’s how:

  • Look upon what’s happening now as a reflection of your core beliefs.

  • If the reflection is negative, pause and ask yourself why it fits the storyline your beliefs create. If you experience any kind of abusive treatment, for example, this reflects a victimhood story supported by a core belief that keeps you in the story. If you experience unexpected kindness, on the other hand, this reflects a storyline that includes compassion and reflects a core belief in how much you deserve love.

  • Whenever you get any hint of the story you are living, tell yourself that you don’t need stories. You only need to live in the present moment.

  • In the present moment, your true self is trying to bring you closer to an improved level of love, self-worth, trust, and wholeness. Keep that in mind as your daily vision, and remind yourself that you are always moving in this direction.

Using self-awareness is the key to changing your core beliefs, and as you know, self-awareness expands through your meditation practice. By experiencing the silence, peace, and wholeness at the core of your being, you automatically begin to melt away self-defeating beliefs, opening the door to core beliefs that reflect the perfection of pure consciousness.

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