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The Reversal of Negative Core Beliefs

Posted on March 19, 2018 in Negative Beliefs

We are all inculcated early in our lives with beliefs that are foundational in nature, or core, both positive and negative. As core beliefs, these are so embedded into our psychic experience as to be difficult at best, to change. Positive core beliefs lead to a positive values system and pro-social behavior.

These beliefs might include “I am a good person”, “hard work pays for itself in the long run”, “love conquers all,” or “knowledge is power.” These positive core beliefs, when reinforced and reconfirmed through positive behaviors can result in a healthy and productive individual with an optimistic worldview. Negative core beliefs, conversely, may have an opposite effect.

Beliefs including “I am a failure,” “I am stupid,” “everyone is out to get me,” or “I am unlovable” might result in behaviors that reaffirm these core beliefs.

Maladaptive, antisocial behavior and activity may affirm these negative core beliefs as the beliefs themselves create situations, circumstances and events that, along with like-minded individuals conspire to foster an atmosphere conducive to failure; a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. These negative core beliefs can often be easily identified through an examination of one’s surface projection or behavior.

The man who projects an outward aura of a hardened tough guy, puffing out his chest at every opportunity and loudly proclaiming his physical superiority in an effort to intimidate, might be said to be outwardly compensating for a core belief that he is a failed weakling. Often these negative core beliefs are unrecognized by the person possessing them having held them from the age of early childhood.

One’s outward or surface projection may seem automatic and natural to them but to the knowledgeable observer constitutes an obvious compensation for feelings of inadequacy.

These surface projections are defense mechanisms then, simply expressed in an effort to cope with or better yet, to deny the horrible truth these underlying beliefs would reveal if brought out into the light of day.

An effective treatment modality would comprise attempts to confront the surface behaviors “head on” and ask, “What kind of person, what belief system would produce such outward behavioral displays.”

This would be conducted in a group setting using the collective to bring pressure to bear on the issue at hand. Who better to confront one’s own behavior than one’s peers who see much more and know the subject more intimately than any outsider?

By confronting the individual concerning the outwardly displayed behavior and with an adequate amount of pressure, an emotional catharsis may be brought to the fore, after the subject voices staunch denials and rebuttals, whereby the subject may reach a point of surrender and be open to suggestions therapeutic in nature.

At this point the negative core belief would be challenged through a dialectic approach in a caring, calm, encouraging manner. For one whose core beliefs might include “I will always fail”, the question may be asked, “where it is that prove that you will always fail? Have you always failed in the past? Have you known success in your life?

Have you ever succeeded in a goal you set for yourself?” The subject will be left, ultimately, with no other option but to admit to having succeeded even to the smallest degree in life.

This is the beginning of the process for tearing down that deeply embedded negative core belief. This small crack in the foundation of this belief will ultimately lead to its complete usurpation.

By building on this first crack the individual would be asked to record instances, on a daily basis, where success offered the realization, no matter how small and seemingly inconsequential, of the achieved goal or desire.

Further support could be offered in the form of evidentiary fact or anecdotal experience. For example, “failure must be embraced in order that one succeed” or “failure is how one learns to succeed.”

Beliefs are the truths people hold on to and guide their lives by. The power of belief can trap you, as in the belief that you deserve only a limited amount of happiness. Or belief can free you, as in the belief that you are safe and protected in the cosmic plan.

When you open your awareness to your strongest beliefs, which are known as core beliefs, two things happen. First, you find out who you are and why you behave in the ways you do.

Second, new energies become available when you pursue the core beliefs that are life-supporting, fulfilling, and spiritually transforming.

What Are Your Core Beliefs?

What you believe about yourself has both positive and negative effects. If deep down you believe, “I must be successful at all costs,” you will gain strong motivation, which is positive.

But if you believe success involves ruthless, selfish, and hurtful behavior, your motivation is compromised. This is what it means to have your belief control you instead of you controlling your belief. Here are some other common core beliefs that people identify with:

  • I want to be intimate as long as I don’t get hurt.

  • I deserve love as long as it doesn’t make me too vulnerable.

  • I want to be of service as long as it doesn’t cost me too much.

If your beliefs are compromised the way that these are, you have not found the true power of core beliefs yet.

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

A powerful core belief is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of core belief you are activating. Step one is to bring your core beliefs into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:

  • I am loving and lovable.

  • I am worthy.

  • I am safe and trusting.

  • I am fulfilled and whole.

You already have existing core beliefs in these four areas of love, self-worth, security, and fulfillment. Your beliefs can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one like changing your wardrobe.

The change must come at the level of self-awareness. At the core of your being, where your true self resides, the truth about you is clear and unequivocal: You deserve unconditional love; you are of unique worth in the universe; you can trust Nature to protect and uphold you; and your fulfillment comes from being whole.

To overhaul your beliefs means that you get closer and closer to your core beliefs, these four inner truths, which are absolute. Right now, there’s a gap between them and what you experience.

For most people, the positive and negative side of their core beliefs depends on how good or bad their experiences have been in the past. If you have been deeply hurt in love, for example, it is hard to adopt the core belief that you deserve infinite love.

A Self-Awareness Exercise to Create Your Core Beliefs

But experience from the past only keeps you stuck in the past. Your core beliefs are activated in the now, every day. They can only be changed in the now, also. Here’s how:

  • Look upon what’s happening now as a reflection of your core beliefs.

  • If the reflection is negative, pause and ask yourself why it fits the storyline your beliefs create. If you experience any kind of abusive treatment, for example, this reflects a victimhood story supported by a core belief that keeps you in the story. If you experience unexpected kindness, on the other hand, this reflects a storyline that includes compassion and reflects a core belief in how much you deserve love.

  • Whenever you get any hint of the story you are living, tell yourself that you don’t need stories. You only need to live in the present moment.

  • In the present moment, your true self is trying to bring you closer to an improved level of love, self-worth, trust, and wholeness. Keep that in mind as your daily vision, and remind yourself that you are always moving in this direction.

Using self-awareness is the key to changing your core beliefs, and as you know, self-awareness expands through your meditation practice. By experiencing the silence, peace, and wholeness at the core of your being, you automatically begin to melt away self-defeating beliefs, opening the door to core beliefs that reflect the perfection of pure consciousness.

Create! Power! Life! Live Your Life to the Fullest!

© 2018, Abundant Life Science, All Rights Reserved

Be Still and Reap the Rewards – Operating from a Position of Power

Posted on March 17, 2018 in Change and Growth

There is a gentleman here who since his arrival, is constantly complaining, becoming angry about how the correctional officers speak to him and act toward him. Shane feels he is being disrespected and makes vague threats concerning officers and staff.

I overheard him complaining one day and offered to him that the correctional officer doesn’t lose any sleep over the situation, perhaps doesn’t care, and most likely doesn’t even know his name. Perhaps Shane could let go and find some peace in his life.

He is constantly operating from a position of weakness rather than a position of power. And by weakness and power I’m not making a moral judgment call. Operating from a position of weakness doesn’t make one a bad person.

Weakness and power in this context refer to positions of unrealized potential versus realized potential, inefficiency versus efficiency in inefficacy versus efficacy.

Man standing in field, looking to the sunset.

What Shane has done is to externalize what he perceives as the problem. The problem he is experiencing is “out there,” it is a problem with the correctional officer and the correctional officer’s attitude, in Shane’s way of thinking.

However, by externalizing the problem, by taking no responsibility for the situation, he has abdicated all power in his ability to solve it. In Shane’s eyes, he might solve the problem by verbally assaulting the correctional officer or by physical assault.

But this solves nothing. It would only serve to compound the problem. It would result in further loss of freedom, an increase in his stress level and to generally make his life more unmanageable. As long as the problem is “out there” it is completely unsolvable.

He is operating from a position of weakness.

No personal problem, if it is externalized, can be solved. All problems then must be internalized in one’s mind. They are a function of how we view ourselves in the context of our place in the world. This perception is based on our beliefs, values, attitudes and result in a particular behavioral pattern.

Therefore, problems must addressed through an internalization process by realizing that they exist within ourselves. How then could Shane, by internalizing his problem, address the issue at hand?

He could realize that he is being driven by ego and false pride. He could realize that a solution might be to walk away knowing he can become mentally still, calm his emotions and find peace spiritually.

The most powerful position we can operate from is one in which we are still mentally, calm emotionally and peaceful spiritually. Only then can we see ourselves in the context of our place in the world with any real clarity.

I play the card game Hearts with three other gentleman here. It is a fantastic game in that it represents a microcosm of the world complete with the joys and sorrows, the grief and the ecstasy that the real-world provides.

One’s, often hidden or guarded, personality traits come to the fore when playing; passiveness, aggression, compassion. Alliances are formed and betrayed, hopes are realized or abandoned and ultimately the game is either won or lost.

One’s alter ego may take hold in a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde type of mentality. It is truly a wonderful game and above all it is played in an “every man for himself” method.

The card game, Hearts, is a very pure game and there is an expectation by seasoned players that a certain protocol or method of play be followed. When this isn’t followed, animosity and resentment may result.

Enter John, a player who understands the mechanics of play but perhaps not the subtle spirit which guides the game.

When challenged, John may abandon all hope and proceed on a streak of self-destruction to the detriment of the other players. His feelings become hurt and his sense of false pride compels him.

He loses the perspective that Hearts purists rely upon for quality game play. I originally saw John’s attitude, toward the game and the other players, as a problem. The problem was that John was not a good Hearts player, at least in the context of the spirit of the game.

If only John could get over himself, if he could just see and appreciate the games purity all would benefit and the games would be of a much higher quality. I had externalized my problem and I could not change John nor his playing style.

Although these options were beyond my purview, I focused my energy on changing something beyond my ability to change. Since my problem was externalized I had completely abdicated my power and my ability to solve the problem.

I took a step back and honestly viewed my motivation for wanting to change these externalized concerns. I asked myself what the true nature of the problem was and I realized it was an issue of how I saw myself in the context of my place in the world.

It was predicated on my core beliefs, values, attitudes and emotional state. What I realized was that John and I suffered from exactly the same problem. So I assumed responsibility. I took ownership of the problem by internalizing it.

This required a brutally honest appraisal of what motivated me. Now solutions abounded. Now I was operating from a powerful position. I could accept John’s game play as a challenge and learn to grow from it. I could simply walk away and no longer play with him.

I was in control! I felt completely and utterly powerful. Empowerment is a heady experience. Being still mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, along with an honest motivational appraisal are the linchpins for the ultimate power position.

All great leaders understand this. It allows one to lead by example and to bring out the best in one’s subordinates, family, friends and associates. It is a major support in our ability to grow and to learn.

Operating from a position of power, via an honest calm and centered self, is what I have sought my entire life.

This position has brought me peace, comfort and an ability to ultimately realize my fullest potential. My advice to all those who have sought a similar state of being? Be still, be true to yourself, and reap the reward!

Create! Power! Life! Live Your Life to the Fullest!

© 2018, Abundant Life Science, All Rights Reserved